Happiness in my community

雅思英语类别：

    雅思口语一对一陪练，托福口语，日常英语口语，商务英语口语，以及幼儿英语口语。
    同时本公司也承接雅思口语陪练，留学服务，雅思作文批改精批等业务。

如下为同学雅思原文:

Happiness in my community

  As far as I am concerned, the residents who live in my community generally feel happy because of the habit of treating people passionately and the good environment, so my community has a lot of happiness. First of all, most of the residents always treat others passionately. Research show, treating others passionately belongs to helping people, and when someone treat homeless man or the neighbors who are in trouble passionately, they can feel grateful for what they do, so they become happy. That is why my community has happiness. After that, our community has a good environment so that they can live in the community happily. On the one hand, it is proud to see my community has complete facilities, such as big playground and shopping street. On the other hand, we have assessed control and professional security to protect our safety. These two reasons support the claim that people in my community are happy and the community has a lot of happiness

如下为外教修改后的作文：