We all know that American like to get out

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如下为同学雅思原文:

We all know that American like to get out, something alone island, nobody eares. We all read the "The Diary Of Rubinshe". Today, more and more people went to the Sahala desert or others, the same things these people done.

Somebody who went to this diffcult places are full of ambition, they want know more about this world and maybe find some treasure. Traving itself is hard, no matter where you go. The desert is a diffcult place we may die due to lack water. It is a big challege that our body and emtion risked. In the desert, a bound of foods and water seems like little, because we do not what happen in there. The stranger wind maybe ruin everything. That must can be called one of the most danger places, nobody exists earas.

Alough the deserts is too danger to come, there are also lots of benefts to come there. We must be stronger than before. The diffcult sitution could let us care about our normal life standard, and we may reduce to waste water in our life. Only one drop of water is unvalueable, I think you can not trade to me with a gold mountant. We will know more about the world and what is the desert. What weather like in desert? The more we know the more tiny we are think ourself. Being fear to the nature. The most directly things we learn is living skill. In this diffcult eara, how to live is the most important thing.

No matter the deserts , somewhere nobody earas or somewhere nobody went, it is full of mistory, unknow and danerous. Keeping search for the unknow is our natural born and the energy to develop. The upforth road maybe diffcult, but we can not just give in.

如下为外教修改后的作文：